Humor: Hangovers

I never considered myself a religious person; that is, until I starting drinking. Now I worship the porcelain god every week. I devote more time to emptying my stomach into my overused toilet than I actually do drinking.

You see, I’ve been cursed with a weak stomach and brain. One shot of hard liquor, or even one glass of wine will shoot straight up to my brain, giving me an almost instant buzz. I’m not the individual who can down a whole bar and still pass a field sobriety test. Me, well, my brain becomes fuzzy with sometimes even the smell of beer. That’s right, as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve gotten a hangover by the smell of our local bar.

Needless to say, my hangovers are comparable to food poisoning coupled with earthshattering headaches. Downing alcoholic beverages is like taking shots of mineral oil for me. Only about an hour after drinking the evil substance, my stomach goes into a complete fit, throwing a temper tantrum and forcing me to flee to the nearest restroom. Time to worship. I think my stomach attempts to jump out of my throat sometimes. Its like my stomach is allergic to alcohol, even though I know that’s ridiculous.

On top of my revolting stomach, my head decides to pound and pound when I ingest any alcohol. It is as if alchohol gives my brain the excuse it needs to send throbbing waves of pain throughout my poor head. My hangover headaches feel as if someone is attempting to build a house on my head, pounding in one painful nail after another into my throbbing skull.

I’ve tried everything to avoid these dreadful hangovers. I’ve tried pills, I’ve tried pacing my drinking. I’ve attempted to drink water between every sip of wine (don’t try this, it makes wine taste very strange, like watered down vinegar). I’ve even tried eating a whole loaf of bread before downing shots of vodka with my friends (I had gotten a tip-off that bread in your stomach soaks up the alcohol, minimizing the effects of this alcohol.

Sounds good in theory, but after I upchucked the wet slices of bread, it was clearly apparent that this technique did nothing, except give me more to throw up during my hangover. Maybe I’ll avoid alcohol from now one. Start a lifetime vigil from alcohol, but that would be against my religion. Hold on, I have to go worship the porcelain god again. I knew I shouldn’t have had that vodka shot in my coffee ten minutes ago.

A guide to French wine regions – Part 4

What better way to end of your wonderful meal with friends or to celebrate a special occasion than to have a great glass of wine! So how do you choose your wine do you just walk into a store and buy any bottle of wine that comes to your hand or do you just buy a bottle that you’ve had already? Wouldn’t you like to know where your wine came from or even visit the region it was made in?

Many of the wines made today from France you can tell where there from just look at the label, most of then are name after the region there made in like Bordeaux or although this is not exactly a wine, like champagne from Champagne, France.

There are about eleven different wine regions in France they are Alsace, Bordeaux, Burgundy, Champagne, Cotes du Rhones, Languedoc-Roussillion, Loire Valley, Provence, Corsica and South West France so I think i’ll share some information with you on them:

Bordeaux is a region that I’m sure every wine lover have heard of. Do you remember wines like Mdoc , Haut Mdoc, Margaux, Pauillac, Saint Estphe, Saint Julien, Listrac and Moulis all of these were produced in this region of France. Bordeaux is near the Atlantic Coast in South France. this region take its name off of the main city but you can not find vineyard in this city its self.

The Alsace region produces more of the wine Americans love like Riesling, Gewurztraminer, Pinot blanc, Tokay Pinot Gris, Sylvaner, Crmant d’Alsace. Alsace is situated north east of France. It is also bordered on the west by the Vosges and on the east by the Rhine which separates it from Germany.

Champagne the one wine that cannot be duplicated only the wine produced in Champagne can be called champagne, any the country that tries to produce this wine can only call it Sparkling wine.

Now that I’ve taken you on a small tour of France get on there research the major wine regions have fun with it or even visit the country!

How to host a successful wine party or wine tasting

Can you remember the very first time that you tasted wine? Regardless of whether it was a buttery Chardonnay or a peppery Cabernet Sauvignon, many of us can usually recall several distinct features about our first glass of wine. For most red drinkers, the awkward, unfamiliar taste of a liquid that is not cold or chilled is usually startling; but did the velvet red cordial leave a dry taste in their mouth, or did their taste buds linger with the distinctive flavors of cherry and black pepper? Whether it was savored or disfavored, quickly swallowed or enjoyed, almost anyone who has tasted wine will distinctively remember their first tasting.

As a dedicated wine enthusiast, I have hosted many successful wine parties and I look forward to sharing my suggestions and lessons learned for how to host a successful wine party. Each week I will be writing on a new aspect of wine party etiquette. Hopefully this information will provide useful information about tasting wine and how to host a successful wine party or celebration involving wine.

Week One: Party Essentials

There are 3 essentials to hosting a successful wine party. They are as follows:

Entertaining The most obvious reason for a wine party is to entertain. You don’t need an excuse to have a wine party, but if you do (i.e. special celebrations) wine is often the best accessory and party theme that adults of all ages can enjoy and appreciate.

Educating Aside from the drinking and social gathering, the second essential element of hosting a wine party is to provide your guests with information about wine facts they never knew. You will be pleased to know we are about to equip you with that knowledge to leave your guests with one final question: “Are you just a host, or are you secretly a wine connoisseur?”

Enjoyable When the party is said and done, if you have accomplished your first 2 essentials then the third should be fulfilled automatically. As your guests depart ask this one question: “Did you enjoy yourself this evening?” 9 out of 10 times the answer will be “YES!” If you have succeeded in the other 2 essentials, this one will surely follow!

It goes without saying that the first and foremost important item to have for a wine tasting is the wine. But, before you can begin to drink your wine, you first have to have the right equipment to open the bottle and have proper drinking apparatus’. Despite what you have or have not experienced in the past, now is the time to understand

Australian Wine Regions

Wine-growing is one of the most dynamic branches of Australian industry, and during the last 40 years it faced many important changes. For instance, in the mid 50-s an average statistical Australian drank about 1 glass of wine per year. But nowadays this quantity enlarged to 2 bottles.

One should note that in 1965 the amount of wine-makers was little and only six companies were officially producing table wine. However, in 1999 the number of wine-makers reached 109. Nowadays Australia’s share in the world market is only 2%, but the aim for 2025 is 6.5%.

Wine-growing is an important industry for Australia. Wool, cotton and beef are a traditional Australian export sold raw. However, wine-making stimulates development of many adjoining branches like package production and trade. Therefore, it helps solve the problem of unemployment.

Specialists are assured that by the middle of the 21st century Australian wines will be no less common for us than French or Italian ones.

Let us list some Australian regions and their wines.

Barossa. Lutheran churches built by German colonists bright up the Barossa Valley landscape. Adelaide is the capital of Australian wine-making. Together with some other spots in this region, the valley forms the largest and the most known wine-making district with its dry and hot climate. Among the wines produced here are: Shiraz, Chardonnay and Cabernet Sauvignon.

Victoria. Climate by the feet of the Victorian Alps in Australia is really chilly. The reason for this is the evening breeze that comes to the valley from snowy tops. Queen Valley has an Alpine climate which can be called a unique tool of Australian wine-making. Because of sharp wind, vine has to be propped up in a special way. As a result, energy and sunlight are used to the utmost, which influences the excellent taste of grapes. This wine is comparable to none in the world. Types of wine produced here are: Cabernet Sauvignon, Dark Horse Cabernet Franc Malbec, High Country Chardonnay, Merlot and Shiraz.

Riverina is renowned for its White Shiraz wine. To produce this wine, grapes are gathered early in the morning when the air is fresh. After that, is it delivered to wine plant. After the grapes are pressed, skin is removed to prevent the red juice from exuding. The wine has a mild taste of berries and herbs, which keeps in harmony with its sour-sweet base. White Shiraz is used with fish, seafood, fresh salads and Asian food. It can also be used as an aperitif.

Lots of wine sorts are also produced in South Australia. Those are: refreshing White Pointer; mild and rich Lindemans Bin 50 Shiraz, ideal for fried meat; Lindemans Bin 65 Chardonnay that has a mild fruit taste – a real pearl of the Вin Range collection; Lindemans Bin 70 Semillon-Verdelho-Sauvignon Blanc-Chardonnay that has a balanced fresh fruit taste; Lindemans Cawarra Colombard Chardonnay with its mild nut and fruit taste; Lindemans Cawarra Shiraz Cabernet and Lindemans Cawarra Unoaked Chardonnay.